A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in West Virginia.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

 
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.
They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more".
They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.

LAILANI: Uy, Greta! Anlaki na ng tiyan mo, ah?! Bakit hindi pa kayo pa­kasal nu’ng boyfriend mo?
GRETA: Ayaw ng pa­milya niya.
LAILANI: Sinong may ayaw, tatay o nanay?
GRETA: ‘Yung mi­sis niya!

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items:

* A half-gallon of 2% milk
* A half carton of eggs

Isang Gwpong Binata ang magpapakamatay dahil pag ibig. Gagawin nya sa pamamagitan ng pagtalon sa mataas na tulay ng ilog.
Tatalon na dapat ang lalaki ng makita cia ng isang lola at napansing gwapo kayat inawat sya.

LOLA: iho, mag hunosdili ka! wag mung ituloy yan.

Nasa kainitan ang ba­litaktakan tungkol sa Sulpicio tragedy nang lapitan ng isang baguhang reporter ang isang madaldal na senador.
Sa pagtataka ng baguhang reporter, tiningnan lang siya ng senador at hindi ito nagsalita.
Pinilit pa rin ng repor­ter na magsalita ang mambabatas.
Malungkot

 
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don`t try to fool me because I can tell the difference."

The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender,

MISIS: Hon, may problema tayo. Nalunok ni Bunso ‘yung ginagamit kong lapis.
MISTER: Madali lang ‘yan, hon. Gamitin mo muna ‘yung ballpen!
***
GIRLFRIEND: Wow! Ang sarap pala ng first kiss!

try lang

any one who can share call center bloopers?


www.logicallinc.com

Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si
ZORRO!
Misis: E ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOS!

grabbee if ever magiing bakla anak ko

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you
were dead.

Isang araw ay may isang sobrang talinong abogado na hinamon ang isang inhinyero sa isang pustahan para patunayan lamang sa lahat kung gaano siya katalino...

ABOGADO: Tara pustahan tayo. Magtatanungan tayo ng kahit anong tanong sa isa't-isa. Tuwing may tanong ako na hindi mo kayang sagutin

1 day, 1 police (on duty) and 1 bulag (daw) sa tabi nya..
bulagpray) lord penge naman po 200php pambili ng gamot
(naawa ang police,tinignan pera sa bulsa, 150php)

Wala lang nabuhay Uli akoe...

While i was gone gumawa ako ng jokes pumunta pa me sa ilalim ng dagat para maglakbay at kinaibigan ko ang mga isda at nag patuloy sa cave of mystery....