Who are you trying to fool? You might fool others but not yourself. Because deep down you know you are hurting right now. How can you be so stubborn? Didn’t your friends tell you a long time ago to stay away from that guy? That he will just break your heart. But did you listen? Apparently not. Because if you did you wont be sitting here in front of the computer wanting to cry but cant because you don’t want others to know how it affects you so much. Do you really have to force that smile after everything that had happened? Do you still need to pursue that “happy-go-lucky everything is ok” attitude? From the very beginning you know that this is coming right? You had so many chances then, to run as far away as possible from him. But did you? No you didn’t. Instead you went ahead and still did it “your” way. You didn’t mind how other people will react or how your close friends who gave you so many good and honest advices will feel right? As long as you took the so-called “risk”. So there you go, you did take the risk but to what extent? Now comes the dreaded consequences and they are far more real and hurtful than you’ll ever think of, right? This is the reality that people can really take advantage of other people’s weakness or sometimes ignorance. So now what? Do you know that you are still going to hurt a lot of people in the process? And how about yourself? Haven’t you’ve hurt yourself a lot already? To see him almost everyday makes the pain unbearable. How can you act like nothing happened when you work at the same place? Look at yourself, take a good thorough look at yourself in the mirror and tell me the you still have respect in your own God-damned self. How can you go to church or even face God during prayer time when you know you have done one of the ultimate sins. Remember, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife? Or in your case husband. You still have time. You still have the opportunity to rebuild your self-esteem but it will take a while. Don't step down to that level of being the mistress please coz i know how it feels. Deep down i know how it feels to be the second choice. How you can't be with him whenever you pleases because he have responsibilities already. How you can't be passionate with him in public because its taboo to flirt with somebody else's husband. In the society that we live in specially here in the States where infidelity and sex is as common as a handshake don't lower your standards please? Time will come when you will meet your real prince charming. Please be patient. But for the mean while try to get your life together. There is more to life than being the second best. Life is what we make out of it. Years from now when you look back, i want you to smile or even laugh at this experience and say "Hey remember when... that is one heck of an experience isn't?" You deserve someone who will be there for you 24/7 not just when his wife is not home or when he just want to make love with you. You deserve someone far greater than this guy. And when the time comes that realization hits you please find me because up to now i still can't fathom how to get out of my own dilemma...

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