(i got this from a "mature" actress' FB... alumni pala sya ng elem school namin...)


SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows,

You give one to your neighbour...



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows,

The State takes both and gives you some milk...



FASCISM

You have 2 cows,

The State takes both and sells you some milk...



NAZISM

You have 2 cows,

The State takes both and shoots you...



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows,

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows,

You sell one and buy a bull...

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows,

You sell them and retire on the income...



SURREALISM

You have 2 cows,

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons...



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows...

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead...



ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows,

You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company,

Using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,

Then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back,

With a tax exemption for 5 cows...

The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company,

Secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company...

The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more...

You sell 1 cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows...

No balance sheet provided with the release...

The public then buys your bull...



THE ANDERSEN MODEL

You have 2 cows,

You shred them...



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want 3 cows...



A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk...

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide...



A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves...



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are...

You decide to have lunch...



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You count them and learn you have 5 cows...

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows...

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows...

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka...



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows,

None of them belongs to you...

You charge the owners for storing them...



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You have 300 people milking them...

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity...

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation...



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

You worship them...



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

Both are mad...



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows...

You tell them that you have none...

No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh*t out of you and invade your country...

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...



A SPANISH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

Your cousin is jealous and wants one, so he starts a civil war over it...



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

The one on the left looks very attractive...



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows,

Business seems pretty good...

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate...



And what about the Philippines?

UNDER A 'BULOKCRACY'

You have 2 cows,

A sacred cow and a milking cow...

One lives in the Palace, the other in the Batasang Pambansa (that's why it's also called Gatasang Pambansa)...

The people go hungry, but all they could get from these 2 cows are bullshit...

So, the people butcher the 2 cows and they finally get to feast on roast beef, bulalo and carne norte...

Moral of the story: AN ENRAGED PEOPLE CANNOT BE COWED...