thanks Oscar the grouch for the kalokohang interview - kiligsss

Strong Parental Guidance: Ang mga susmusunod na kaganapan ay di dapat tularan, dahil ang mga bida sa kwentong ito ay mga professional wrestler








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I am handsome, overly intellectual, and a selfish snotty jerk – well, that’s my girlfriend’s opinion if you would ask her about me. I am far from the latter definition though, but anyway she would exaggerate everything if it involves yours truly.


Sometimes she is too overbearing. I really can’t handle her moods. Oh well, they say women have gazillion of complexities, so I tried to ignore her “Mental-Hospital-Attitude”.


Sometimes…nope…I think its most of the time; she’s the most annoying chatterbox I’ve ever heard. She loves to argue over petty things be it during breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, in PUJ’s, Bus, and while we’re walking or texting. Surprisingly, her socio-economic-political rants are my sweet lullabies, it makes me calm. Yes, because it makes me anxious if I can’t hear her neurotic societal blabs.


Sometimes she scares the hell out of me. Yes, it brings me a pang of dread if she’ll keep her mouth shut for an hour. I would think that she’s planning for my perfect clandestine assassination or nasty burial.


Have you ever been threatened to death by your soon to be wife?


“Sar, what if makikipag cool off ako sa iyo?”

“Kung ako sa iyo Jose mag-isip ka muna ng libong beses, dahil papatayin lang kita”

“Sar, what if my iba akong girlfriend?”

“Okay lang Jose, ipapasalvage ko lang naman kayong dalawa, pupugutan ng ulo at ilalagay ko sa EDSA with a banner na WAG TULARAN”


Have you ever been bullied by your worst enemy-slash-girlfriend?

habang nasa mall:

“Jose look oh ang ganda ng babae at ang sexy pa”

“Sus, mas maganda at sexy ka”

at biglang tinulak na lang ako ni Sarah. Kawawang ako sampal ang inabot ng mapasubsub sa napakalaking kayamanan ng magandang babae.

“bakit mo naman ginawa yun Sar? Ang sakit ng sampal ah!”

“kasi you’re a hypocrite Jose, tse!”

“totoo naman mas maganda at sexy ka sa kanya…yun ang nak
ikita ko!”

“Isang satsat mo pa Jose babarilin na kita”


However, I am not a weakling. To avenge my bruised inflated manly ego, I often poke our dog. I love seeing Sarah blushed in pure anger. Five seconds after poking “budoy” – running is a must to save my life. Sarah would still chase me like a mad monster with a slipper for my face. Ahuh, she is willing to run after me even if I would hide into hell’s fiery pit.


Why I am deeply truly madly in love with her?


With her, life is fun and she’s the only woman I always think of spending my life forever…until the earth would cease to breath.