Episode 24





I lay there just looking at him sleeping soundly… Peacefully, with one hand propped up supporting my head… My hair tousled from a fitful sleep.

I ran my fingers along his body with a touch just light enough to know he is real but not too firm to wake him.

He stilled woke though.

His eyes fluttered and he half-opened it. He stared at me like I am the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on…

He tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear, kissed my knuckles and placed my hand on his chest.

Perhaps he was still really sleepy because he was about to smile when he yawned so wide that I saw his tonsils… I let out a girlish giggle.

He laughed at himself; his laughter was crisp and infectious but it quieted down after a while. He then closed his eyes, kissed my hand, and went back to sleep.

“Carl…” I breathed his name and he stirred a little. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around me. He let out a lazy-sounding grunt as he stretched his body to give space to mine. I smiled a sumptuous smile and settled myself along the contours of his body.

“So this is what peace feels like…” I whispered to myself… My hand is resting on his smooth chest, and feeling his heartbeat, I’ve never felt so human and so alive.

I feel like I’ve been running forever… I’m tired and cold and I’m glad I finally found a warm home beside him.

I felt like crying… All those years of abuse, of being tossed around like a worn-out and useless rug… All the hurt… All the pent-up anger…

Oh, I could just burst…

“Daddy…” I whimpered almost in pain. I suddenly missed my father.

The last time I felt safe was before he closed his eyes. If you are here daddy… You’d love Carl… You’d be happy for me. You’re little mermaid found her prince daddy. “I love you dad… I miss you. It’s a bit better but it still hurts… Missing you will always hurt.”

The rush of emotion became too much for me to bear. I felt hot tears flow and my shoulders began to shake. Carl must have felt it because his embrace tightened.

I don’t know how long I cried. I just emptied myself out to him without shame, without holding anything back.

…And he just held me. Caressed me…

Without saying a word he had me known that he is one with me… That he feels what I feel and he will be here with me now and every morning after…

…And I will never have to face my demons alone again.

I held him and he held me… And it was in that way, his arms around me, that I found enough serenity to fall asleep because I know now for certain that there would be no more nightmares.

No more.









*****to be continued*****

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