they say that history will keep on repeating itself, that is, until you learn to live the lesson that you are supposed to get out of it.

it gets tiring sometimes, you know -- watching people walk in and out of your life. you get close to someone and you start getting used to having him or her around. just when you start to enjoy each other's company, either a good opportunity, an emergency or anything impossible to resist knocks on his or her door. next thing you know, you're bidding your farewells and giving goodbye hugs to each other. most of the time, you are left with no choice but to just deal with this, because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and it just so happens that your backyard is currently experiencing el Niño.

you are left behind and you try to move on, only to realize later on that you are walking on a treadmill and you are right where you started -- you're back to square one. you're alone and you're trying to find your way into whatever it is that will probably give you at least a hint of happiness. then you find out that the person whom you used to walk with is doing so well on his or her own. not yet where he or she wants to go, maybe, but is headed towards the right direction. you feel happy for him or her and yet there is something holding you back, holding you back from being fully happy for the other person. it's not because of envy and it's not because you do not want to see that person finally get to where he or she wants to be in. sometimes, it's the thought that you could have been there with that person, holding his or her hand while taking that path and crossing that line. but even snakes and ladders has its ups and downs, and unfortunately for you, stepping on the snake means it's time to let go.

you'll get there, you'll be happy too. you just have to roll the dice a few times more.

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